You probably know by now that I don’t really give a shit about animals. Puppies and kitties are super awesome, but all that Vegan Blah Blah / Share If You Think Michael Vick Should Be Crucified Blah Blah goes right past me. Our society owes dogs, cats, horses, and dolphins no more or less special treatment than cows or pigs; cows and pigs are lovely animals, just as emotional and soulful as puppies and kittens. And delicious. Maybe it’s a genetic thing. I’m Chinese, and we’re famous for looking at any organism on earth and going “I could probably eat that.” There’s an awesome saying that the Chinese will eat anything on four legs except the table, and anything with wings except an airplane. My vegan and animal-rights friends, they’re almost all white people, hardly any Hispanics, Blacks, or Asians. We ain’t got time for that shit, let’s eat.