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Fabulous Pork, and a lack of Jews.
Dec. 9th, 2002 09:27 amIf I do say so myself, I looked stunning in Annabelle's gold velvet dress, and the red feather boa took the outfit to heretofore unseen heights of fabulosity. There were half a dozen boas in attendance, cleaning up the next day I found enough feathers to make a small chicken.
The Pork Martinis went over well, I think. The distinctive pork aroma was actually stronger than the subtle porky taste in the martini itself. People agreed that the Vegan Pork martini, made with fake Canadian bacon, actually had the most "pork" taste, I attribute that to the various spices and flavorings they use to turn soy into pork. Next time I'll fry up a Jimmy Dean sausage patty for the real meaty flavor-essence. I should have used a cube of ham for garnish, or perhaps coated the rim of the glass with honey mustard. But I don't have time for any of that, I'm on to my next experiment: The Nacho Cheese Martini.
Around 3:00 in the morning we were wondering why there's no Jew Porn. Go to the adult section of your local video store and you'll find Hot Black Honeys, and All Asian Action, Lovely Latinos, but nothing Jewish! What's up with that? I think Jews are totally hot. There are some notable Jews in porn (Ron Jeremy, Annie Sprinkle) but where's my Backdoor Jews 9? Hasidic Humping 5? Horny Hebrews 8? Oy vey! Where's my Jewish Porn? You could sing that last question as a Scissorkiss song, but I wouldn't recommend it.
Other parts of the evening remain fuzzy behind all the drunk. I'm almost positive I had a good time, tho. I'm sure I said things, made heartfelt promises and curious propositions that I may or may not remember over the next few days. It's kinda fun like that.
The Pork Martinis went over well, I think. The distinctive pork aroma was actually stronger than the subtle porky taste in the martini itself. People agreed that the Vegan Pork martini, made with fake Canadian bacon, actually had the most "pork" taste, I attribute that to the various spices and flavorings they use to turn soy into pork. Next time I'll fry up a Jimmy Dean sausage patty for the real meaty flavor-essence. I should have used a cube of ham for garnish, or perhaps coated the rim of the glass with honey mustard. But I don't have time for any of that, I'm on to my next experiment: The Nacho Cheese Martini.
Around 3:00 in the morning we were wondering why there's no Jew Porn. Go to the adult section of your local video store and you'll find Hot Black Honeys, and All Asian Action, Lovely Latinos, but nothing Jewish! What's up with that? I think Jews are totally hot. There are some notable Jews in porn (Ron Jeremy, Annie Sprinkle) but where's my Backdoor Jews 9? Hasidic Humping 5? Horny Hebrews 8? Oy vey! Where's my Jewish Porn? You could sing that last question as a Scissorkiss song, but I wouldn't recommend it.
Other parts of the evening remain fuzzy behind all the drunk. I'm almost positive I had a good time, tho. I'm sure I said things, made heartfelt promises and curious propositions that I may or may not remember over the next few days. It's kinda fun like that.
