Arrrr!

We smuggled in bottles of rum to turn our movie theatre soda into piratical grog, so I knew I'd have a pretty good time no matter what, but…wow. Pirates Of The Caribbean is such a fantastic movie. It has the perfect mix of action, story, visuals and humor: everything that makes a great Summer Blockbuster, with none of the outright stupidity or insipid clichés that burden most summer movies. The dialogue is well written and the performances are right on; it's consistently and cleverly hilarious; Johnny Depp totally steals the show, Keira Knightly is a taller and hotter Natalie Portman. It's impossible to watch the film and not say "Arrrr!" every fifteen minutes or so. There is one really good fight scene, so much boatjacking you'd think we're playing Grand Theft Shipping: The Spanish Main, and a Zombie Pirate Helper Monkey! It's the best Movie Based On A Theme Park Ride ever!

YO HO
YO HO
A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME
WE PILLAGE AND PLUNDER AND WE RIFLE AND LOOT
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO
WE KIDNAP AND RAVAGE AND DON'T GIVE A HOOT
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO

YO HO
YO HO
A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME
WE EXTORT WE PILFER WE FILCH AND SACK
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO
MARAUD AND EMBEZZLE AND EVEN HIJACK
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO

YO HO
YO HO
A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME
WE KINDLE AND CHAR, INFLAME AND IGNITE
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO
WE BURN UP THE CITY, WE'RE REALLY A FRIGHT
DRINK UP UP ME HEARTIES YO HO
WE'RE BEGGERS AND BLIGHTERS AND NE'ER DO WELL CADS
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO
AYE BUT WE ARE LOVED BY OUR MOMMIES AND DADS
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO

My July 4th holiday.

Driving down to New York state is surprisingly pleasant. No traffic to speak of the whole way down to Warwick, NY. When you get off Interstate 87 all of a sudden you're on little winding roads through green rolling hills and lush valleys. Silos, fields and tractors, horses and cows; the a sudden mental gearshift down from the city is shocking and a little uncomfortable at first but then you exhale and take a deep breath of the alien country atmosphere and you relax. I relax hard. It's like getting a Swedish massage while listening to New Age Japanese monk chants and then getting a Valium enema.

I've got a room at The Peach Grove Inn Bed & Breakfast, it's a magnificent huge house by a hay farm, a 12-foot ceilinged Greek Revival mansion, simple country opulence. Check-in time's not for another hour so I go up to Amity's dad's place and find people setting up tables, food, drinks, and the bounce house. The bounce house! After hugs and introductions I make myself useful until everyone's there for rehearsal. One run through and I take off back to the Peach Grove Inn for a shower, then back to the wedding site to greet guests, hang out and, of course, start drinking; it's 5:30 before we collect everyone and start the show. Maids and Groomsmen walk slowly arm in arm from the house to the tent, it's impossible not to grin like an idiot because this is all so cool. Scott makes his speech, Amity and Shawn read the vows they've written. During rehearsal we were all laughing and giggly but for the real ceremony all of a sudden everything feels so meaningful, everyone displays a sensitivity I never thought us capable of. There there's the big ol' kiss and we walk back to the house.

We party on with delicious home-catered food, endless flowing booze, bounce house-ing, music, dancing, fireworks, and other special treats. It's 6:00am and I take a nap in a tent, wake up a couple hours later, go back to the bed & breakfast for a few hours of real sleep. The huge luxurious four-poster bed welcomes me like a soft enfolding hug. Wake up again, shower, check out and head back to Amity's dad's to help clean up. It's well into the afternoon by the time I hit the road for Boston and if anything the drive is more pleasant that the drive down because my brain isn't functioning at a high enough level to be bored by four hours of interstate highway. Well ok I was a little bit ragged by the time I got off the Mass Pike.

Sleep for a few hours then I go to the Welcome Home Tegin Party. I make frozen margaritas and we pass around a bottle of champagne. I spend an hour talking to Mike about old Battlestar Galactica episodes. It's really good to see Tegin again, she's no worse the wear for her year in the Chinese wilderness, if anything she exudes even more glamorous fabulosity that when we saw her last. It's like, she used to be a supermodel go-go dancer, but now she's a supermodel go-go dancer who can drink a Tibetan yak herder under the table then whup a bar full of Nazi henchmen.

As per usual, me and Kevin end up singing Buffy songs.

It's 4:00am by the time I get to bed, space and time are getting a mite disjointed. I wake up sometime noonish and decide what to cook for Kat for dinner. The Watermelon Salad with Spicy Feta Dressing is not spicy enough, the Grape & Almond Gazpacho is a bit too spicy, the Flank Steak with Red & Yellow Pepper Relish is just-right spicy. Kat has brought Secretary which I'd been wanting to see for ages, I am stunned by it's brilliance, it is absolutely inspiring. It's not about Bondage and Submission, it's about force of will and clarity of thought, finding the courage to live by what makes your soul happy. I've been mildly obsessed with Maggie Gyllenhal since Donnie Darko and now I worship her even more; I've never seen a character embody such complex and vulnerable strength. Shivers.

Then the weekend is gone, and it feels like I've dreamed it more than lived it.