![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Taking retards to the zoo
Oct. 3rd, 2006 09:55 amWent climbing with Couplingchaos Friday and had a really awesome session, did two 5.11s and some other 5.10s. Holy crap I’m climbing 5.11s! Never thought I’d be able to do this stuff, now I can call myself a decent climber and it feels like I mean it. Yow. And I know what I still suck at: balance and footwork. I’m pretty sloppy; I rely on the arm and back and shoulder brute-strengthy moves because, well, it’s so much fun to swing like a monkey! But it’s painfully evident that if I wanna get good there are some specific skills I need to develop in my repertoire.
And there were a buncha retards at the gym. No, really, there were about twenty special-needs kids and their handlers, lots of enthusiastic shouting and hugs and encouragementy affirmation, it was pretty neat. We say “bunch of retards” all the time to describe any collection of annoying or inept people, be it local government, customers needing service, fans of the opposing sports team, but when was the last time you were around a bunch of actual retards? There’s a certain unreality double-take when you see a figurative colloquialism expressed in literal reality. Bunch of retards, is that the appropriate word…school of fish, pod of whales, Flock of Seagulls…. How about a “Short Bus” of retards? Too wordy. Maybe a “Nnnnhheeuuugh” of retards? Stop looking at me like that, you totally think of this stuff, too.
And then I was untying the top rope from my belay harness and the end of the rope swung around and thwapped me right in the face and when something surprises me like that I get all crosseyed stunned with momentary head-rattley and as I was trying to blink my way back to reality I was thinking oh man they’re gonna mistake me for one of their retards and take me away on the bus no help noooooooo! At least I’d get lots of hugs.
And there were a buncha retards at the gym. No, really, there were about twenty special-needs kids and their handlers, lots of enthusiastic shouting and hugs and encouragementy affirmation, it was pretty neat. We say “bunch of retards” all the time to describe any collection of annoying or inept people, be it local government, customers needing service, fans of the opposing sports team, but when was the last time you were around a bunch of actual retards? There’s a certain unreality double-take when you see a figurative colloquialism expressed in literal reality. Bunch of retards, is that the appropriate word…school of fish, pod of whales, Flock of Seagulls…. How about a “Short Bus” of retards? Too wordy. Maybe a “Nnnnhheeuuugh” of retards? Stop looking at me like that, you totally think of this stuff, too.
And then I was untying the top rope from my belay harness and the end of the rope swung around and thwapped me right in the face and when something surprises me like that I get all crosseyed stunned with momentary head-rattley and as I was trying to blink my way back to reality I was thinking oh man they’re gonna mistake me for one of their retards and take me away on the bus no help noooooooo! At least I’d get lots of hugs.
