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Big Brother Is watching.
Jan. 3rd, 2007 06:15 amI signed up to be a Big Brother, you know that Big Brother / Big Sister program where you get a kid to hang out and be friends with, be a role model, positive influence and all that garbage. So I got this kid, eight years old, talks nonstop, is excited about doing everything. He's pretty cool, gonna take him out to museums and stuff. Movies. Rock climbing, I hope. I think he likes rollerblading. Heh. I have a have a young ward. I shall dress him up in yellow red tights and we will go out and fight crime.
I mention this to people and the first question I get is "What? You? What possessed you to do this?" So I typed up a FAQ:
What? You? What possessed you to do this?
Hard to pin down exactly, all I know for sure are two things: 1) It seems like an important and rewarding experience, and 2) five years ago I never would have thought of doing this. Like most things in my life, some stuff just seems like it would be Good, so I do it. That's about all I can say.
How often do you hang out with the kid?
At least twice a month, more if you want to.
How long does the program last?
You have to commit to at least a year. That's the intimidating part, I have to stick with this for a whole year? Crap that sounds like a long time. And here's the thing, if he likes me, I'm not gonna bail on him after a year – "Hey kid, it's been fun, nice knowing you, have a good life". Anything he needs, I gotta be there for him. So I'm locked into this for as long as he's interested and has time to hang out. Which pretty much means: until he discovers Girls.
What if you don't get along?
There's an interview process and they try to match up Big Brothers to Little Brothers according to interests and personality; if you or the family would be more comfortable with a certain age or race or whatever. Took them about 3 months after I interviewed for them to find a potential match, last week me and a Big Brothers organization person visited the family and hung out and everyone seemed pretty cool with it so here we go. If he really sucks, I'll trade the miserable bastard in for another one. Maybe a little black girl yeah that'd be sweet.
uh...
I'm kidding.
Oh yeah well what do you think your little brother would think if he saw all those pictures of you doing curious perverse things on stage at the club?
Shut up.
Some role model you are, what are you going to teach him - how to wear skirts and makeup and pointy boots? How to hook up with hot goth chicks?
I said shut up.
I can see it now: "Hey mom, guess what we did today? First I snorted pop rocks, then we made bacon vodka, then we had a wasabi-eating contest until we threw up. Mom, what's a Safe Word?"
That's it, now you're getting a beating.
I mention this to people and the first question I get is "What? You? What possessed you to do this?" So I typed up a FAQ:
What? You? What possessed you to do this?
Hard to pin down exactly, all I know for sure are two things: 1) It seems like an important and rewarding experience, and 2) five years ago I never would have thought of doing this. Like most things in my life, some stuff just seems like it would be Good, so I do it. That's about all I can say.
How often do you hang out with the kid?
At least twice a month, more if you want to.
How long does the program last?
You have to commit to at least a year. That's the intimidating part, I have to stick with this for a whole year? Crap that sounds like a long time. And here's the thing, if he likes me, I'm not gonna bail on him after a year – "Hey kid, it's been fun, nice knowing you, have a good life". Anything he needs, I gotta be there for him. So I'm locked into this for as long as he's interested and has time to hang out. Which pretty much means: until he discovers Girls.
What if you don't get along?
There's an interview process and they try to match up Big Brothers to Little Brothers according to interests and personality; if you or the family would be more comfortable with a certain age or race or whatever. Took them about 3 months after I interviewed for them to find a potential match, last week me and a Big Brothers organization person visited the family and hung out and everyone seemed pretty cool with it so here we go. If he really sucks, I'll trade the miserable bastard in for another one. Maybe a little black girl yeah that'd be sweet.
uh...
I'm kidding.
Oh yeah well what do you think your little brother would think if he saw all those pictures of you doing curious perverse things on stage at the club?
Shut up.
Some role model you are, what are you going to teach him - how to wear skirts and makeup and pointy boots? How to hook up with hot goth chicks?
I said shut up.
I can see it now: "Hey mom, guess what we did today? First I snorted pop rocks, then we made bacon vodka, then we had a wasabi-eating contest until we threw up. Mom, what's a Safe Word?"
That's it, now you're getting a beating.
