Baggodouchio

“Douche Bag” is one of our favorite disparaging descriptions of a person, interesting that it seems to be used to describe only men, while the literal object itself is a distinctly female-related. I suppose that’s part of the charm. Seems there should be a female version of the insult, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard one. There certainly are women out there who are total douche bags, but it would be unusual to call them that. What are the characteristics of a douche-y person? The main tenets of douche baggery seem to be 1) Insincerity and 2) Self Importance. You’ll often find both in a douche bag, but one is sufficient. I was tempted to list 3) Hypocrisy as a pillar of douche baggage, the belief that others should behave in a way that you yourself need not, but that seems to be more like a hideous spawn of the aforementioned Insincerity and Self Importance, rather than it’s own distinct component of doucheiness. I wonder how we started using douche bag as an insult, I mean, imagine trying to explain the concept to some foreign exchange student:

“You call that man ‘douche bag’, what it mean?”
“Oh, well that means he’s, ya know, kinda slimy, kind of an ass.”
“Ok. But why ‘douche bag’? A douche bag is…a washing bag, something you use in bath?”
“Uh, not…really. It’s like, when a woman has that Not So Fresh Feeling…”
“Not fresh, you mean like…stale?”
“Ummm….”