The roof, not on fire.

Snow’s been piling up on the roof of my condo building, so I went up to another owner’s top-floor unit to see how bad it was, lest we be in danger of roof-collapsey. Shovelled about two feet of snow off the balcony while I was up there, she’s an old lady so we can’t have her doing that. Propped a ladder up on her balcony and climbed up to take a look and yeah there’s about a foot of snow up there, maybe two feet in some places. I thought about getting up there and shoveling some off but then I looked down three stories to the ground and said uh-uh. My dad died from falling off a roof, how bad would if be if that’s how I bought it. It would be the start of a grand vendetta between mortal enemies: The Hsiehs vs. The Roofs. Next time I go to my parent’s house I’ll take a sword up on the roof and stab a few shingles. “You killed my father. Prepare to die.”